the beauty of imperfection

Thursday, February 03, 2005

bitter love

Bitter love, a violet with its crown
of thorns in a thicket of spiky passions,
spear of sorrow, corolla of rage: how did you come
to conquer my soul? What via dolorosa* brought you?

Why did you pour your tender fire
so quickly over my life's cool leaves?
Who pointed the way to you? What flower,
what rock, what smoke showed you where I live?

Because the earth shook - it did -, that awful night
then dawn filled all the gobblets with its wine;
the heavenly sun declared itself;

while inside, a ferocious love wound around
and around me - till it pierced me with its thorns, its sword,
slashing a seared road through my heart.

(Pablo Neruda Sonnet III)

(* via dolorosa: way of suffering - the legendary road Christ was supposed to have taken and forced to carry his heavy cross naked after being tortured throughout the night)

miracles

Sermon topic : Why do we need miracles?
My lesson: To love Him for His Person and not what He can do for me.
Having God in my life is more than enough.
Can I utter my daily prayers without asking for anything for myself?
That will be a challenge especially at this time.
What i will ask is for His Will be done and leave it at that, with trust that He knows best.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody, everything, every night before you go to bed.-Bernard M. Baruch
It's not so much for a long and fruitful life for me- it's more so for restful sleeps at night. Been tossing the past few evenings - my mini emotional tsunami - not from all the excitement of Christmas - more so of realising how fallible and undiscerning i can be with matters of the heart. Albeit it's Christmas, and it's a season for giving - nothing can excuse my overspending matters of the heart. In the clear mindedness on Christmas morn, it's time to make amends of mistakes made. The visa of heart currencies afforded to a scrooge was withdrawn. I learn to forgive myself, the scrooge, and all the intentional wrongs or otherwise mistakes unintentional - and hopefully i will sleep with a smile and wake up with one soon enough. ~r

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

my choice

give me pain,
if that be the price of friendship,
tears
rather than the cold distain for love
i rather be
laughing and hurting
than be a dweller of grave and tombs.
~ r

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

agenda

"The love of people is at the same time a love for God. For when we love one, we necessarily love one's handiwork".- Judah Low

This almost marks the end of another year. 2004 has been eventful, filled with many challenges, touching moments, loving times, and some moving heart-tendering episodes. I hate endings and goodbyes. Then again, I love new beginnings - on Christmas morn, I took up a challenge from a friend to have Love my agenda for 2005. Tall order, but I am a believer - and so - yes, Love will be the agenda for 2005 for this girl. A parting gift - "any decision and action taken based on Love can never go too wrong". So, I hope you too will have Love on your agenda for 2005! ~r

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

matter of the heart

It is a matter of the heart
after all
But we have spoken of it
so many times before
It has costs so much already
- must it cost more?
How much more must it take away
And who shall bear such cost
Seemingly only an act
- difficult to remember
difficult not to do
But perhaps only seemingly difficult
An act grown large
for the price which has had to be paid
So what ought I do now
Do I make silence my companion
For when a tree falls in the forests
and there are no ears to hear
there is no noise any way
Perhaps it is of little consequence
after all - it is only a matter of the heart.

~r

Saturday, October 30, 2004

life

The book of life
beginswith pages
virginal and clean,
proclaiming innocence
yet strangely tempting
to the childish mind
behind the unformed handt
o make its presence felt
and leave a mark
to show where it has been
-and as we write upon the pages
each life unfolds as stories lived
and written by us all,
of drama,
mystery or
comedy
of heroes,
villains
and adventurers
some written with a carefree flourish
some neatly following the lines,
and others in a careless scrawl
-No matter if our book
is short or long,
or if it is remembered down the years,
we must expect
that even in the happiest of fairy tales,
there will always be some chapters
blank with boredom
-there will always be some pages
smudged with tears .....

~Nan Witcomb

"Everybody"s Free (to Feel Good)"

Wear sunscreen.If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
~ Mary Schmich& Quindon Tarver"s